More than a Conqueror
I just did something that I haven’t done for years. It is super embarrassing to admit but I just went on a walk.
I’m not talking about a slow stroll with the kids. I’m talking about putting on running shoes and getting the heart rate up kind of walk.
Shortly before I started dating Niel, I did a Couch to 5K. I started to run and found that I actually enjoyed it. I have ALWAYS been the chubby kid who struggled with exercise but during that time something clicked and I really enjoyed getting up in the morning to run and pray.
Then I started training for an actual 5K and I lost the joy of running. I wanted to just run and pray and not actually have to work toward a real race. I did run the 5K and enjoyed it. However, after I ran it my running started to taper off until I did not run anymore. In fact, I did not exercise anymore at all.
When I was living in Hong Kong and China I did not drive. I took public transportation and walked everywhere. In fact, we lived in a village house in Hong Kong and we had to climb a steep hill with lots of steps to get to our house. I would lug our son and groceries up that hill several days a week. I may not have done a ton to intentionally exercise there but our life in general was more active than it is now.
Fast forward to today. We have lived in the US for nearly a year and a half and I have barely moved at all. I walk from the store to our car and do not even break a sweat. I have been feeling the need to get out and exercise for a very long time but had done nothing about it.
Today that changed. I got out and went on a walk by myself.
Guess what? I LOVED it! I am terribly out of shape and it is quite shameful how difficult it was but it was just what my soul needed.
I had time alone. This is something I don’t take for granted as a stay-at-home mommy of two three year olds. I moved. This is something my body needed so badly. I spent time worshipping and praying.
A song popped up on my play list during the walk that was so fitting. Is goes,
When my hope and strength is gone
You’re the one who calls me on
You are the life
You are the fight
That’s in my soul
Oh, Your resurrection power
Burns like fire in my heart
When waters rise
I lift my eyes
Up to Your throne
We are more than conquerors, through Christ
You have overcome this world, this life
We will not bow to sin or to shame
We are defiant in Your name
You are the fire that cannot be tamed
You are the power in our veins
Our Lord, our God, our Conqueror
Rend Collective — More Than Conquerors
You know what? Getting out to walk may seem like a small thing to most everyone in the world but to me it was not a small thing at all. I felt like a Conqueror. I was feeling shame for not exercising for so long and letting my body get to the unhealthy state it is in. My Gracious Father reminded me that I don’t need to bow to my shame. He reminded me that He is the Power in my veins- that I am a Conqueror, through Him!
So I am choosing to not despair about how I should have been running/exercising all along. I will chose to get out there again and put one foot in front of the other— with His help of course!